Oh crap. The Sh!t is hitting the fan now. Dusty Johnson's dad Rusty has been spotted in a hourly motel off Pacific Avenue in SeaTac. Apparantly he got wind of Dusty's location and is still wicked pissed that Dusty stole his El Camino and his pack of Camel's back in 89. No slouch himself on the CX course he figured he could take a tip from his not so bright son and score some cash from the suckers in tomorrows MFG race. We'll see how he looks. Apparently he has been gettin hosed playing beer hunter until the wee hours of the morning. The last time he got so wasted he thought he was the tooth fairy and was trying to rip all grill's out of mouths of the Trunk Boiz.
3 comments:
You'll never find me you crusty a$$ coot! Yeah I stole you Camels, yer woman, and your ride. Whatcha gonna do? Nuthin that's what. I'd race ya tomorrow. You know I'd love to kick yer a$$ all up and down that track, but I'm all jacked up on alergy medicine, Mt Dew, and roofies. Maybe we can have a little "family reunion" at sprinker. Watch yourself pops.
Russell "Rusty" Johnson is from the big Johnson family in the Appalachian hills of West Virginia. He fathered Dusty while on a drunken bender in which he was AWOL from the military, with a stripper in a Key West nightclub. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is what they say, and in the Johnson family case, that apple tree is right in the middle of a hog trough. Rusty once stole a tow truck from Billy Carter's repair garage in Plains, GA, and was hired as a plumber for the Rev. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker until they discovered Rusty was stealing make-up from Tammy Faye and using Cuban immigrant labor to repackage it and sell it to thousands of Russian women. He did ten years for that crime, seven beyond the normal sentencing guidelines because he called the judge obscenities within the opening statements of his trial. While in a privately-run prison in Tennessee, the only way guards could keep the other inmates from threatening to kill Rusty was to stick an old Sears exercise bicycle in his cell and keep him in there 24/7. It was in prison that Rusty developed his endurance for 'cross racing, especially since the guards would bet on how fast they could get Rusty to pedal the exercise bike and then shoot Tazer wires into his back and threaten to "power 'er up" if he didn't ride faster. When he got out in 2002, he went back to the old Rusty, except he now hustled at 'cross races and spent most of his ill-gotten booty on scratch lottery tickets.
Rusty's pic creeps me out......can we have a new story?
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